A Special Day

Today is a special day in life in Durwood's world. It is special for the usual reasons in that it is another day of life and it is a gift from the One who made all things. But this day is special for a very significant reason because it is Dad's 80^th birthday. Both of his parents left this earth before reaching 80 years and that makes this milestone a treasure not to be taken lightly. The fact that Dad is still with us is a rich blessing. "The days of our lives are seventy years; and if by reason of strength they are eighty years, yet their boast is only labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away." One might say that we live on "borrowed time" once we reach 80 years of life, so I thank the Giver of life for every bit of time that He allows Dad to stay with us. He is doing quite well just a few weeks after the so-called "mini" strokes he experienced recently and for that I am also thankful.

This afternoon Mom has planned a celebration to honor this special birthday. The weather is relatively pleasant for the 25^th of February and that is a blessing as well. There will certainly be many family and friends that will come to help Dad celebrate this special day and to wish him well. There may very well be some who will be there that I've not seen in some time and will enjoy visiting with them on this special occasion.  So today while the sun shines bright, we are going to celebrate this monumental milestone with a very special man. Whatever time may remain for us to be blessed by having this great man in our lives will be considered a precious gift from God. As each day passes, I must remember to be grateful that Dad is still with us and express that gratitude at every available opportunity.

Time With The Kids

Basketball has been a kind of first love in life when it comes to sports and that never really changed but bad knees put an end to my playing days many years ago. When our son came along the dream of spending time with him and teaching him some of the things learned playing on a team that ultimately won the state championship was very exciting to me. But after two years of Tee ball and one year of baseball and Saturday morning basketball, Heath had all the ball playing he wanted. Dream crushed! Tiffany also played two years of Tee ball and she was finished as well.

A couple of years went by and suddenly Tiffany decided she wanted to play Saturday morning basketball. That first year she played basketball, I got to help coach the team and it was a thrill. Her team went undefeated that year and it was a fun experience for her and for me. In the spring she decided to play softball and soon found she could hit a softball as far as anyone her age. She ultimately played three years of basketball and five years of softball. The time that I got to spend with her helping to teach her about basketball and softball left me with memories more precious than fine jewels. It presented opportunity for closeness with her that was otherwise far too rare in our relationship during her first 18 years.

Fortunately during their time at home, I was able to spend time with Heath doing other things besides playing ball. As it turned out, he liked hunting and fishing, though more fishing than hunting, so we got to do some of that together as he was growing up. He also liked camping and the two of us had opportunities to camp and a few times our entire family went on camping trips. The camping trips that he and I made when it was just the two of us were great times that help to cultivate a closeness that was very special to this father. Those were some very enjoyable times and are treasured memories that I look back on with immense pleasure.

During the time the children were growing up the family took several vacation trips along the way. Although we had some really good times on those trips it seemed like there was a lot of time spent fussing about what we were going to do and where we were going to go. Strangely enough, once the children grew up and their mother and I began to take trips with just the two of us, all that fussing went away. I can't recall Lynn and myself having any argument about what we would do when we got to our vacation destination. Because of our ever increasingly cluttered lives, the time we have had to spend together on those vacation trips has actually been some of the most pleasant times we've spent together as long as we have been together. Those are times that I've looked forward to with excited anticipation as the opportunities come around.

Life in my world has rarely taken the path my imagination planned out and the child-rearing experience certainly was no exception. Even so, the relationship that I have with my children in their adult years is pleasant and we see each other often. For that I am thankful. I truly am looking forward to spending time with my little grandson as he grows up and fully expect that there will be things in our relationship that turn out differently from what I've anticipated just as with his Dad and aunt.

A Daughter Is A Gift From God

This morning found me awake in the very early hours before daylight as the apparent result of too much pizza and garlic sauce last night. That hour and a half awake just happened to be about the same time a very special event took place 26 years ago. February 1, 1986 was another time I was awake in the very early morning hours. That was the day God blessed me with the wonderful gift of a daughter! Tiffany came into this world a tiny little bundle of wonder with a cute little round face and instantly captured Daddy's love. She joined father, mother and brother to complete our family of four and began her adventure called life.

Being a concerned father and conscience of the delicacy of a sweet little girl, I'd carefully explained to our 17 month old son, Heath, that he would need to be very careful and easy with his new sister and help to take care of her. Their mother and I spent the next few years doing all we could do to keep that "delicate" little girl from killing her brother. For example, one day when Tiffany was about six months old, we heard bloodcurdling screams coming from the next room and ran around the corner to find our little girl on top of Heath. He could not move or get her off and was screaming his poor little lungs out. So much for protecting her, we found we needed to protect him more so!

As she grew and developed, Tiffany exhibited strength in many ways beyond physical strength. She showed resolve and determination to accomplish things she desired to do and to develop the talents that begin to show brilliantly through as the years flew by. That resolve and determination could often be more along the lines of stubbornness and being strong-willed – traits that have in a lot of ways been an asset for her in the pursuit of a very good college education. But, as her father, there were some special times that I saw when the "little girl" came out in her. They were particularly special to me because those were the times when the daughter that fought against closeness to her father so strongly, needed Daddy and no one else would do. Those were times when she had been deeply hurt by something or someone in her life and Daddy was there ready to comfort and encourage her and tell her things would be alright. Those are times this father will always cherish!

So today I think about the blinding speed with which these last 26 years have flown by and the magnificence of watching my little girl change into the beautiful, talented and successful young woman she is today and thank God for His gift!

Two Plus One Plus One Equals Four

As we continue down the historical road of life in my world, we've come to the time in my life that Lynn and I were blessed with our two wonderful children. We could not have scripted our children's entrance on the stage of life any more perfectly. First there was Heath and a father could not have been blessed with a more perfect firstborn. As new parents, we truly thought that he was the most beautiful baby that had ever graced God's creation. Then Tiffany came into the world a mere seventeen months later. She was a scrawny little thing with a round little face and was so precious. She literally slept almost constantly for the first several months of her life, only waking long enough to eat and get a diaper change and then back to sleep. For the first four or five years many people who saw the children thought they were twins because they were so close in size.

Through the years, as they grew toward young adulthood, we found that their closeness of age and size were just about the only similarities in our children. Heath was very smart and laid back and easy to deal with and Tiffany was very smart and headstrong and opinionated and difficult from the beginning. As a father, it was great to have a son who enjoyed doing things with "Daddy" and there are some extremely fond memories in my mind's files of the times we spent together. My dream, when our daughter came into the world, was one of a sweet, precious little girl that would be close to her father and of the wonderful relationship we would have as father and daughter. But as she grew, Tiffany would push me away and resist my efforts to be close to her. Fortunately, as mentioned in a previous post, great strides in her maturity level during the college years changed that attitude tremendously.

During the first few years of the children's lives, there were a multitude of precious memories that could be revisited. The trust in Daddy that Heath exhibited early in life was manifested in his habit of getting a running start and "swan diving" on me confidently expecting me to catch him. I can remember him crying to go with me to cut wood and then screaming in terror when the chainsaw cranked up. He'd eat pizza sometimes until he literally could not hold it. Then there was the time in his first year of tee ball when he was down to the very last pitch and he hit the game winning run. He was completely oblivious to the fact that he'd just been hero for the day! Memories of Tiffany's sweetness on occasion have a special place in my thoughts. Once while carrying her across the yard at a relative's house, she suddenly threw her arms around me and hugged me for no obvious reason. Another time when we were in Gatlinburg, we walked into one of the many gift shops and she immediately called out "Cookie Monster" when she saw a balloon with Cookie Monster's image on it! She was a big Cookie Monster fan back then. The little kinky-headed baby girl could really be sweet at times. On a trip to Opryland when she was four, as we made our way out of the park one night, she exclaimed "I'm tired" and so Daddy carried the little doll the rest of the way to the car. Such moments as these are truly special memories for a father filled to the "gizzard" with love for my two children.

More recollections of the children will come later but for now it is sufficient to say that those early years watching their development was both fascinating and a pleasure for a proud father. They were and are as jewels in a crown to their Mom and me. It is so true that "…children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them…" There are times when this father wishes he had more arrows.

Watching The World Float By

It would be interesting to know what the rain totals over the last three months are for our little part of the world. We have received a tremendous amount of rain today and especially this afternoon. There should be about two hours until dark at the time of this writing, but it has grown so dark from the cloud cover that I'm not sure if I saw a couple of Jeeps from my friend's Jeep business up the road just float  by or if my eyes are playing tricks on me. It's hard to tell which is faster – the rain or the rising water! But after years of dry to very dry conditions, I'll not complain about the rain.

We have good news to report since the last writing concerning Dad. He is home from the hospital and seems to be doing pretty well at the present. The doctors have not found any major issues that would contribute to the "minor" strokes that he suffered and have prescribed a blood thinner which they believe will prevent further strokes. We are praying they are right. He is also receiving some in-home therapy to get some physical issues worked out and hopefully will be back to normal activity very soon. Our world is one of uncertainty so it is wise to make the most of each moment of life with which we are blessed – especially those spent with the ones we love.

Another family crisis has arisen in the past week that is of great concern. The precious six month old daughter of our niece is having some very serious health issues. The doctors have given a wide range of scenarios as to what may happen with the little darling's health going forward and they will surely do everything possible to help her. In the meantime, we are praying and asking for everyone's prayers on her behalf and above all trusting the Great Physician to lay a mighty healing hand on this baby girl. Life persistently reminds us of our dependency on the Creator and that truly life "…is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."  If you have a moment, would you pray for this little girl?

There are only 14 days left in deer season and about this time of year my heart begins to yearn for warmer weather. Yes, that's a bit premature since there are still several weeks left of winter, but once deer season ends, cold weather becomes particularly bothersome for this old man. Warmer weather will afford opportunities for fishing which is a personal love second only to hunting. Getting far enough away from "civilization" that man-made sounds are difficult, if not impossible, to hear is a wonderful source of mental therapy. So as the rain falls on a cold dreary day, there is a pleasant anticipation of warmer days and cool, clear water. Life in my world – what a wonderful blessing… just watching the world float by!

Overwhelmed By A Crimson Flood

Our entire family was up two hours past my bedtime last night! Well, except for the dog; he slept as best he could. We watched LSU drown in a Crimson Flood! The Alabama Crimson Tide football team completely dominated LSU's football team. There are some clowns out there like that Wetzel guy on Yahoo and Gundy from Oklahoma State that just don't get the whole dominate defense thing. Wetzel called the game a dud and Gundy thinks he could score 35 points on LSU. There is nothing boring about watching a great defense crush the opposing offense and Gundy has never seen a real defense. His offense would look a lot like LSU's did if he played Alabama or LSU. Anyone can go back through college football history and see that a dominate defense will shut down a really good offense almost without fail. Bear Bryant knew what he was talking about when he'd say "you win championships with defense". But a lot of folks think if the final score of a football game isn't 67 to 56 that the game is boring – what a joke!

Alabama fans are thrilled that their football team has won another National Championship. Nick Saban is a master at teaching college players how to compete and win football games and we are grateful to have him as coach of Bama's team. Give him a month or more to prepare his team and he's going to beat you. There are a host of hypocrites that say they hate him who would love him if he happened to be coach of their favorite team. There are those people, even some high profile people, who gave Saban down the road about decisions he made as if they had never changed their mind about anything. Alabama fans are just happy that Mal Moore was able to persuade him to come to Alabama.

So in a world that often has far too many heartaches and problems to throw at us each day, Alabama Crimson Tide fans have another National Championship to relish in for the next several months. Then come September we can start working on another! A lot of other school's fans ridicule Bama fan's about our expectation of competing for a National Championship every year. The fact is, no team accidentally wins championships – if you don't have an expectation to win and work toward that end, you can bet you're sure not going to win a championship in anything. Roll Tide, Roll!      (January 10, 2012)

A Daughter, A Dog, A Boy And Grandpa

Fiction makes for interesting stories sometimes, but nothing is quite as intriguing as real life. Life rarely turns out the way we envision and usually makes a far deeper and lasting impression on our minds that the frivolity of a tale of imagination. Many events in the saga of life in my world have taken paths that are far different than any script I would have written had that been an option.

Our daughter Tiffany is a great example of this concept. My vision of having a little girl in the house was one of a sweet little darling that would be a joy as she grew into womanhood. Instead, it was an experience that took on the theatrics of two long-horned rams butting heads over and over. Her mother and I took our responsibility of guiding her through the transformation from little girl to young woman very seriously but the little girl in Tiffany often resisted. Her attitude was often less than desirable and because of this it was so amazing to watch the rapid maturing of our daughter as she began her freshman year of college. Being away from those who cared most for her and the sudden introduction of realities of life previously unknown to her caused an appreciation for things taken for granted beforehand. She continued to make great strides in personal growth and worked extremely hard for more than six years in completing under-grad and graduate training to become an Occupational Therapist. I am proud of her and the effort she put into the goals she set for herself and have told her that several times.

After completing her education, Tiffany got a job offer in Savannah, GA and moved there and worked for a time. While there she got a dog to help keep her company. It's a Terrier mix and is admittedly a cute little thing but it is an "inside" dog. I've never been a fan of any sort of animal staying inside my house. Well our beautiful daughter decided to take a job back close to home and has moved back in with us for the present time. So guess who, or what else has moved in as well! That's right! We now have an "inside" dog living with us. Actually, he's hilarious. More times than not, when I come home he comes running toward me barking like he's going to tear me apart and when he gets to the rug in the entrance hallway, he tries to stop and hits the rug and slides right up to me looking a bit sheepish. Sometimes he will hit that same rug when Tiffany opens the door to let him out to "do his business" and slide right out into the garage, rug and all. Not only is he hilarious, but he is a little bit paranoid as well. There is good reason for that, though, and it comes in the form of an almost three year old boy.

My grandson is a precious little sweetheart but can be a bit rambunctious and somewhat mischievous. He likes to try to get the dog to chase him and does so by kicking at him and generally pestering the ever loving stew out of him. Sometimes the dog chases him and sometimes he will bark and snap at him. Other times the dog will hug close to one of us trying with everything he's got to avoid my little grandson. It has become something of a challenge to try and make him understand that the dog doesn't like his style of rough play. It certainly makes for a lively and noisy time at our house when both the boy and the dog are there together.

In closing this post, I'll mention that another current event in life in my world is not developing according to my script. My Dad, "Grandpa" to the children and to my little grandson, is in the hospital having suffered several "minor" strokes. He is almost 80 and it's not that we were oblivious to the fact that something like this might happen sometime, but you never are really prepared for such an event. I'm fervently praying that he can recover and we can have him for a few more years. He really loves our little grandson and enjoys being around him and it is so precious to hear that little boy say "Grandpa" – it comes out more like "Gapa". A great grandparent is a luxury many of us never get to experience so every moment my Dad spends with my grandson is special. As I sit in my office and write this, there is a picture in front of me with my Dad, my son, myself and my grandson. Memories are forever!

Good Bye 2011

Can you believe it? We've reached the end of another year! It has been over 10 months since I walked out of that factory for the last time and it seems like just a few days. As the age meter continues to rise, it seems like life in my world is a runaway train heading down hill. There are constant reminders that indeed life is "a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away". Take a moment and watch the steam rise from a boiling pot – on the eternal timeline, that is very much representative of our lifespan. Without hope for the hereafter, life would be empty and meaningless and many people wander through life questioning why we are here and where we are going. The answers to those questions have been revealed for those who are willing to accept it – "Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man" and "…as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment…". We are put here to serve the Creator and then face Him to be judged accordingly when life ends.

During 2011 there have been several occasions where life has indeed ended for people I either knew or those close to someone I know. There have also been several beginnings as little ones have been born to people who are a part of my life. Life begins. Life ends. So it is with mankind. So at the end of this year and as 2012 begins, what can be said about our lives? Are we better individuals than we were a year ago? Have we accomplished anything worthwhile? Are the lives of the people we've touched throughout the year better because of our influence? "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." We have the ability to make others better people and become better ourselves or we can affect others in a negative manner. As the New Year arrives, this writer hopes to be able to help each person whose life intersects with mine to be better because our paths crossed.

As another year begins and we make plans for whatever future we may have, let us all remember why we are here and do something good for the folks around us. I have so much to be thankful for; the sun is out, it's a beautiful day, I've got a wonderful little family, reasonably good health, there are deer to hunt and fish to catch – life is good! Here's to a better world in 2012!

A Whirlwind Called Life

Life has a way of seeming to be on cruise control with very little happening but the day to day routine then all of a sudden things change as though you've stepped into a whirlwind. Such was the case at this point in the history of my life. After nearly two and one half years of seemingly spinning my wheels, changes came into my life fast and furiously. Factory work had become my means of support in early 1980 and during the next year my experiences on the dating scene had become quite frustrating. At that time it seemed that marriage was not even remotely possible to the extent that I had decided to go out and buy a new car during the summer of 1980. There was an abrupt change as January of 1981 rolled around!

The second weekend in January, 1981 found me in a situation that was very unusual for me in that my schedule included dates with different young ladies on consecutive nights. My date on Friday night went very well from my perspective and I'd have absolutely asked that girl out again except for what happened the next night. On Saturday night my date was with Lynn, one of the most beautiful young ladies I've ever met in my life. After that first date, it was all over! There was no other woman for this country boy. Two weeks into our dating scene we were planning marriage and on June 5, 1981 we began our life together and yes, she got the new car. Today, over 30 years, two wonderful children, a daughter-in-law and a precious grandson later, we are still together. We've experienced highs and lows, joys and sorrows, laughter and pain, good times and hard times and we have held on through it all. We have learned that life is neither all good nor all bad and that through faith in The Higher Power we can enjoy the good and overcome the bad.

There will be more history filled in as we go but, jumping ahead to the present; there is something that I feel is worth inserting at this point. The changes that we experience in life can have varying effects on us and that has certainly been true in my life. One most significant change that has brought abundant joy into my life is the birth of my grandson. He is the light of my life and watching him grow and develop for almost three years now has blessed me beyond description. The anticipation of watching that sweet child as he grows and changes and to see what he becomes has given me a great desire to grow old and to be there for him each step of the way. I read somewhere that, "raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree" and after raising two teenagers that statement certainly seems to fit. No wonder so many grandparents say, "If I had known grandchildren were so much fun, I would have had them first". Nothing melts away a bad day like spending time with my little grandson.

So then, the whirlwind of life has brought me to where I am today – married for 30 years, a wonderful family, retired after 31 years of factory work and a used car salesman. That's right, I've set up a used car lot and after all those years of working a job that never brought much joy, I'm finally enjoying work. Who knows what the future will hold, but hopefully it will involve more grandchildren!

Searching For Direction

Now what? For some of us, the decision of what to do with the rest of our lives once high school is out of the way doesn't come easy. Should I just try to find a job or would college be best? Would it be better to just attend a technical school and learn a trade skill? Military? Now that's a frightening proposition! How can an eighteen year old possibly know what he or she wants to do for the next 30 to 40 years? There are so many choices that high school graduates are faced with and often not nearly enough guidance to help with those choices. Better insights and ideas to what possibilities lie ahead in life would have been something greatly welcomed when I was trying to decide on a path to travel in life. Often I've told young folks who are in the process of making decisions as to what course to pursue in their career that I'm still trying to decide what I want to be. That statement is made only about half jokingly, because the truth is sometimes this is one man who would really like to go back in time and start down a different career path.

The understanding of the value of a college education came much too late in life, so shortly after graduation my brief stint in a technical school at the local community college was underway. An interest in repairing broken things lead to auto mechanics school to which was added enough academic courses to earn an Associate in Applied Science degree. However, after about two and one half years of working in that field, I went to work in a factory and though that lasted for 31 years I never liked working inside. That's just not the place a hunter and fisherman can really enjoy! But it helped pay the bills.

During the two years of my community college education, there were some significant events in my history that bear mentioning as these things influenced the path my life has taken. After four months at the local community college, I left home and transferred to another community college in Gainesville, Florida. During my nearly eight months stay in Gainesville, I met several people who hold a permanent place in my memory 35 years after the fact. Among those people were four young ladies who caught my attention; two of which I dated and two of which I didn't, the latter of which is among my list of regrets in life. Mostly my time in Florida was rich with treasured memories but sadly during that time a good friend back home was severely injured during spring football practice and was left a quadriplegic.

As the old saying goes, "There's no place like home", so I moved back home in late summer and again enrolled in the local community college. Along with that last year of college education came some experiences that left lasting impressions – and scars. One such experience was dating a young woman who coincidentally happened to be the daughter of one of my professors. She educated me as to the new age, aggressive female type – something this little "country boy" was not accustom to at all! This dating experience was followed by a couple more young women, both of whom I was engaged to briefly but as it turned out they each had "issues" beyond my level of tolerance. Before these episodes had completely played out, my education had concluded and real world, fulltime work was underway. 

Thinking back now it seems that life just kind of simmered for the next couple of years without any really major events in my life. Of course, there were girls to date and friends to spend time with but nothing significant. Well, there was this one girl that I dated very briefly that bears mentioning. I'd been somewhere with a friend and we stopped in at a Wendy's to get something to eat and she was working behind the counter. We started talking and she ended up inviting me to go horseback riding with her the next day and I did. Actually, we rode her horse with me on the back and from there we ended up going out a few times. She was a very intriguing young woman and things heated up pretty fast, but didn't last very long and we soon went our separate ways. After a little more than two years of basically "riding the waves" things were about to change dramatically in my life.

Filling In Some Memories

Life in my world, the history of my life, seems like such a small, insignificant speck of dust on the timeline of world history. Each of us lives our own life in a relatively small frame of time that we are allotted on this spinning globe. Life slips away at breakneck speed and indeed is "a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away". Life is full of peaks and valleys, ups and downs and is sometimes wonderful and sometimes not so much, but along those hills and hollows of our respective journeys come memories that stamp lasting impressions on our minds. The following is a recollection of some of the memories in my life and thoughts on how these events may have shaped me into who I am today.

There are only two memories that I can recall of my mother who, as mentioned earlier in my life history, passed away during the fourth year of my life. One of those memories is of me standing behind the couch to try to get away from her because I'd done something of which she did not approve. The other is walking into the house after I had split my head open from a fall while playing on the carport and seeing her approaching me to see what was wrong. Then she stood over me and helped hold me down while the doctor sewed my head. Sad, isn't it? But that is all the memory of my mother that my four year old mind stored away! Losing my mother at such a young age and having almost no memory of her has influence my personality to a degree that even I do not fully grasp. No doubt this is the reason that it touches me so deeply to hear of a very young child losing a parent.  

Starting to school is another memory that forever shaped, or warped, me in such a way as to stick firmly in my mind. For the first month of my school career, I cried every morning the second the bus pulled into the parking lot and although the crying stopped after that the way I felt about school never really changed. Yes, there were some really great times in my experiences during those educational years but the whole going to class and learning deal never seemed to give me any kind of warm, fuzzy feeling. In these adult, real world years I've come to realize how very important education is in life and try to spread that message to as many young folks as opportunity presents. Education opens doors to those who take advantage of that treasure that may otherwise be unavailable.

Memories of hunting with my Dad have remained etched in my memory bank as well. He is a tall, big man and trying to keep up with him as we hunted for squirrel and quail was no easy task for a five year old boy, but those are memories that have endured time. At ten years old, Dad gave me my first shotgun and I've still got that old gun. Sometime after my twelfth birthday, we started deer hunting. Neither of us really knew much about it but we had some great adventures on those hunts. We were hunting one time around Smith Lake and Dad was going to walk around a patch of woods to try to "drive" a deer by me and left me sitting on a stump. Well, he got lost and was gone for a very long time and I was getting more frightened by the minute. After a long while, I heard something walking through the woods and called out, "Daddy"! The next sound was a tremendous splash as something jumped into the lake. To this day I've always figured it was probably that monster buck of my dreams. Shortly afterward, much to my relief, Dad finally found his way back. We enjoyed several hunting trips over the next few years. We always camped in a tent and sometimes we'd get really cold trying to sleep at night, but those are memories that have stuck with me to this day.

Sometimes things happen that you wish had never taken place and even more you wish you could forget. Two such events are filed away in my mind. First, there was the night of that horrific accident in which three people lost their lives. As the story goes, against her parent's wishes, a young lady left for a date with her boyfriend who reportedly had been drinking. Half a mile from our house they ran a stop sign and were hit by two cars traveling in opposite directions. Their car wrapped around a tree and burned. They and a passenger in one of the other vehicles were killed. Our entire family walked to the end of the road that night and the sight of that wreck is forever branded in my mind. Secondly, there was my friend Stacy. I'd really only gotten to know him over the summer that year. He and I lived on opposite ends of a two mile stretch of road and both of us, along with a couple of other boys that lived nearby, spent a lot of the summer riding bikes and playing in a creek just down the road. It was maybe November of that year that he and another young man were hunting and they were riding to another hunting spot on a motorcycle. The gun was loaded and somehow went off and Stacy was killed. Although a horrible memory which has troubled me greatly, no doubt that produced in me a greater concern for safety from that day forward as I pursue my passion of deer hunting.

One other thing worth mentioning took place during my final year of high school. We were at a family gathering and by that time in his life Grandpa was showing signs of declining health. His brother-in-law was there and made a comment about a man he knew who was still flying his own airplane at the age of 80. Grandpa was 76 at the time and apparently the comment was an effort to make him feel better about his age. A few weeks later, Grandpa and the rest of the family attended the brother-in-law's funeral – he dropped dead from a heart attack. Life is fleeting and none of us knows when we will pass into the next realm. Enjoy the good things in life while you can!

Though there are so many other memories tucked away in my mind from those early years, these mentioned probably have had the greatest influence on who I am today at the age of 53. My prayer is that I, the man sculpted by these influences, can take what life has helped me become and guide my children and grandchildren in ways most beneficial to them and the people they come in contact with during their lives.

A Season To Remember

So…after a little deviation from my early life history, here we are back where we left off. Continuing the account of our basketball team brings us to our senior year and that eventful season which is forever burned in my memory. Thirty five years after the fact, there are flashes of memories of that special year that often cross my mind – memories from the past that are as priceless as any of this world's treasures.

We had worked extremely hard during the summer to improve our basketball skills and get in the best possible condition. Remember we had a goal, a burning desire actually, to win a state championship and we were pretty certain of who we'd have to go through to achieve that goal. You see, the guys from the year before had been denied a chance to play in the state tournament by a school from Birmingham that was renowned for having good teams almost every year. We just knew if we were going to state we'd have to beat the "Family" – Holy Family High School! Our coach had even posted a picture of some of their players on a wall in our gym – a picture that remained on that wall all season.

The schedule for our senior season was filled with schools in higher classifications than our small school, with only the necessary games against schools in our 1A classification. We had one of the smallest enrollments of any school in the entire state and our coach wanted us to play against the best competition available to prepare us for what we would face at the end of the season. We began the season with a huge win over 3A Sparkman High School and it looked good for our team at the outset of the season. One of the most memorable events for me during the early part of our season was a tournament that we played in Nashville at David Lipscomb College. The teams in the tournament were all from schools similar to ours in that they were also religiously affiliated schools. We had a really great time during those few days. We stayed in the dorms that were vacated for the Christmas holiday season and ate every night at a little pizza place that had live music (a guy playing the banjo and sort of singing). It was a great experience and we won the tournament as well.

As we entered the month of January, we had lost three games and although we felt they were games we should have won, there was no sense of alarm. We were confident that we'd take care of business the remainder of the way. However, the next few weeks were unnerving to say the least. It seemed that our dream of winning the state championship was coming unraveled as we lost seven of thirteen games during that stretch. No matter what we did it just seemed that we could not "right the ship" and this skid culminated in being put out of the county tournament by a team that we had beaten by 37 points just two weeks prior. It was during this difficult stretch of our season that I learned something about our coach that surely did not escape the attention of the others on the team. We were at a team meeting at one of our player's home, called by team members for the purpose of trying to sort through the losing skid we were on and rectify the situation. Our coach dropped by for a few minutes to address the team and I will never forget what followed. He brought out something in each and every player's life that had presented a difficulty and a challenge in their life and pointed out that each situation was something that every one of us had overcome and gone on with our life. Why, I wasn't even aware that he knew of the life-altering situation in my life that he mentioned – the death of my mother when I was four years old. What I learned about our coach at that meeting was, with all the yelling and angry looks and all the running us until we thought we were going to die, he actually cared for us as individuals. We were more than just players on a team that he happened to be coaching.

Well, we entered the area tournament with renewed determination and confidence that we would make the state tournament and win it. I'll have to say, however, it didn't seem that much of the rest of the student body of our school had much confidence in us at this point. But we pretty much breezed through the area tournament without much of a test by the teams we played. Shortly after the finish of the final area tournament game, we learned who we would have to play in the regional final game which was the last step to the state tournament – that's right, the "Family"; Holy Family High was our next opponent. Now, they had two guys that were 6' 6'' tall and could jump so high that they could block a 20 foot shot at its peak. In preparation for this, we met in the gym that Saturday morning and coach had the tallest player on our team hold a straw broom and we had to try to shoot over the broom while he tried to block shots.

Our style of play was high pressure defense and up-tempo, fast break, get the ball down the court and it worked quite well for us. But coach and his assistants thought we'd be better served against Holy Family to slow the pace down to a crawl. So the game that night began with us doing everything possible to keep the pace of the game as slow as feasible, but by halftime we found ourselves behind by 11 points. Through three years of playing for our coach, we had grown accustom to being yelled at and jumped on at halftime no matter how the game was progressing. However, this night we sat there in total silence as we watched our usually vocal coach as he paced back and forth for just about the entire halftime break without even a word. Finally he stopped in his tracks and asked, "Fellows, can we trap"? We, as a unit, answered "Yes, Sir" and we hit the court in the second half running the half-court trapping defense we had been trained to run for three years. The result was astounding! We tied the game before Holy Family was able to score and by midway of the fourth quarter we led by 16 points. Final score: ABS 66, Holy Family 61 – we were on our way to the state tournament!

Words fail me to adequately describe the experience of being a part of the only basketball team in school history to ever reach the state tournament. First there was the ride from Athens to Tuscaloosa. We stopped in Birmingham to get gas in the bus and while there we saw some kids playing at a school next door and couldn't help but notice the colors of their gym clothes. Someone called to one of them and asked what the name of the school was and the student said, "Holy Family". Wow! We told them who we were and they invited us into their school and served us refreshments and wished us luck. To this day I've always wondered if that was simply a coincidence or planned by our coach – maybe I'll ask him one day. Then there was the excitement and thrill of playing in Coleman Coliseum on the same floor where Alabama greats like Anthony Murray, T.R. Dunn, Reginald King and Leon Douglas played. What an unforgettable experience to be able to play the game we loved in the same arena as the Crimson Tide!

The thrill, the experience, and the excitement were great, but we were there on a mission. We were there to win the state championship! We played New Site in the first game and won relatively easily. The second game turned out to be the greatest test we would face in the tournament. Red Level had a very tough team and we trailed the entire game right up until ten seconds to go in the game. When that last shot went through to give us a one point lead and the final margin of victory, we and all of our fans went crazy! The third and final game of the tournament against Rebecca Comer was never really close as we won by 23 points. It is so rare for plans to work out just the way we want them to in this life but this time was an exception and our dream was realized – we were state champions!

What a magical conclusion to a dream first instilled in the minds of a group of little elementary school boys! It's as if someone wrote a fairytale with a storybook ending, only this story is true! Special thanks to Henry Fudge, Bill Murrell and Wayne Kuykendall.

Trying To Preserve My Sanity

Today is November 7, 2011 and I'm sitting in a rundown old house near Nebo, Illinois. A group of five deer hunters, including myself, are in Pike County enjoying the early part of a week of bow hunting. This is the first opportunity in all my 53 years to have the privilege of a hunt like this where there are deer of the quality that this beautiful part of the country holds. It is warm and raining at this moment and as I look out the window of this old house, a pheasant is walking down the edge of the gravel road just 40 feet from the house. That's right – a pheasant! Where it came from is anybody's guess. Better hunting weather is predicted toward the middle of the week and hopefully that will prove to be accurate because the rut is getting underway and the bucks are chasing does persistently.

This hunt is the realization of a dream from as far back as my memory will take me and the other guys are a really good bunch to be able to share this experience with. Even more than the realization of a dream, this is also a therapeutic experience as well. My time spent in the woods or on the water does wonders for my sanity. The pressures and disappointments of life can sometimes become a suffocating burden, but when I'm twenty feet up in a tree or on a creek so far away from a highway that man made sounds are few or nonexistent those problems can be put on the back burner. This morning some of us were excited to see a monster buck chasing a huge doe. She was so big that we were looking for antlers. A sighting such as this causes us to look forward to the rest of the week's hunt with heightened anticipation - a buck like that is exactly what we hope to get within bow range before week's end.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

At 6 A.M. we are sitting in our home away from home as the rain pours from the sky and the forecast calls for rain and thunderstorms all day – not very safe conditions for sitting in a tree stand. Four of us are sitting in the living room as one of the guys plays the guitar. The other guy is still in bed. We are thinking of going to find a diner to get some hot breakfast. Weather conditions are supposed to be better for deer hunting starting tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to that. In the meantime though, it is quite enjoyable to sit and listen to the music and sing along once in a while. Hunting has not been great for the first couple of days, but the experience of being in Pike County, the "Golden Triangle" as it sometimes is referred to, is something that I'll remember and treasure for the rest of my life. Just to see the incredible size of the deer in this area leaves me in awe. These created wonders are a testimony of the amazing power and wisdom of the master Designer.

"The earth is the Lord's, and all its fullness, the world and those who dwell therein. For He has founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the waters."

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The weather was considerably better for hunting today in Pike County Illinois which made for a more enjoyable day. All the guys in our group saw deer this afternoon. Things seem to be looking up for our chances of taking some good bucks. There is nothing more beautiful and relaxing than the deer woods cloaked in fall colors with deer moving calmly about. The peaceful solitude of sitting high in a tree watching and hearing nothing but the sights and sounds of nature helps keep me sane. This afternoon a half grown fawn came in and browsed a while and then laid down and took a nap for half an hour just 30 yards from the tree I'd climbed. I named the little buck after my precious little grandson. Tomorrow mornings weather forecast gives promise of another good day in the woods and so with much anticipation we sit and talk about where each of us will hunt at daybreak.

We've finished eating our supper and as we sit around the living room of this old dilapidated house that has been home for six days now, we are enjoying the sounds of music. Three of the guys are pretty good with a guitar and there's a little bit of singing as well, though that part is not so great. This week of hunting and the company of some really good guys has been an experience that will be treasured for the rest of my life. Even so, the old saying "there's no place like home" is certainly true and I'm really missing my family and especially my sweet little grandson. He's two and one half and is the light of my life. How can a little boy capture the heart of a 53 year old man so completely? One of the most precious sounds I've ever heard is that sweet child calling me "Poppy". It's really going to be great to see that boy again in a couple of days.

For now we are getting ready to settle into bed and get some much needed rest before rising at 4:00 A.M. and heading back to the woods. Tomorrow is the last full day of this week's dream hunt and hopefully we can all be successful and make this an absolutely fulfilling experience for each of us.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Today was the last day of our Pike County hunt. This morning we got out of bed at 4:00 A.M. as we have all week long but this morning there was a sense of sadness that our hunt is coming to an end. Yet there was also a feeling of relief and anticipation that we are going to go back home to be with the ones we love. I have missed my little grandson more than words can express and can't wait to pick him up and kiss his cheek and hear him say "Poppy".

We are leaving Illinois with the same number of deer that we came with. The weather early this week was not good for deer hunting but improved late in the week. Two of the guys got shots but missed. Such is the world of bow hunting for deer! This morning we hunted until 9:00 A.M. and then packed up to head home. I saw three shooter bucks this morning but all of them came through about 100 yards away. One of them was the quality of buck I came to Illinois hoping to see. He was huge and he was hot on the trail of a doe but she led him up and over the hillside and out of my sight. The other two were not quite as nice but were nice enough that I'd have taken one of them if possible. Two of the other guys saw shooter bucks this morning as well but also didn't have a chance to shoot. So we are heading home with no deer but with rich experiences to store away in our memory banks. One day I hope to be blessed with another opportunity to go on a hunt where the big bucks roam and maybe finally have the dream encounter of a lifetime with a 180 class deer. For now, though, I'll cherish this experience in another part of the creation and look forward to new opportunities to spend time in the woods. It is experiences such as the past week that help me keep my sanity. The pressures and disappointments that come with everyday life in this world seem to fade into the distance when I'm in the woods or on a creek somewhere. Everyone needs to find something such as this that takes them away from their problems and the weight of everyday life.

Keeping Things In Perspective

Solomon wrote, "Better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for that is the end of all men; and the living will take it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."  This morning, the third day of November, 2011 I went to the house of mourning. The occasion was the funeral for a friend's father. His father was 87 years old and left behind two sons, four daughters, 13 grandchildren, 23 great grandchildren and a great-great-grandchild. A lot of good things were said about this man and the life he lived, but the most important aspect of his life was that he knew the Lord. It is a promise that will not fail that vengeance will be forth-coming on "those who do not know God". This man was never the CEO of a large corporation or a prominent coach of a prestigious university or the president of his country, but men of his caliber are truly the cornerstones on which this country stands. When we lose men like him, I pray God there's another to take his place because without these men our country's foundation will weaken and crumble.

Many men and women have reached lofty positions in the eyes of our society who have neglected family and even moral values along the way. How many times have you heard about someone who attained a high status in some company and made a lot of enemies along the way by just running over and stepping on whomever was in the way? Too often, folks spend their life trying to be important and don't pay enough attention to the things that are important!  How many people have you ever heard of that said on their death bed, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office" or "I wished I'd worked more hours on my job"? Those are not the things people regret in their life but rather the regrets are not spending more time with family, not taking that vacation with a spouse or not taking the time to really enjoy nature.

My friend's father was a great man, not because of the position he held in a company or university or country, but because he was a good, decent, respectable and loving father, grandfather and great grandfather. Those who spoke at his funeral spoke of a man who loved life, family and the Lord and who was loved and respected by those who knew him best. No position a man can hold in this life should be more coveted than to be a family man who puts God and family first in his every thought. How blessed our country would be if more of our men and women were as solid as my friend's father. We need a nation of people who know how to keep things in perspective – who understand what is really important in life. "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people."

Kind words and glowing praise spoken at a funeral are only valid if the life lived matches the words spoken; otherwise it is just empty rhetoric. This man lived a life that could be appreciated by those who knew him best. What about you and me? What will be said truthfully about us when those who know us best gather to pay respects when we pass from this world? May we all have the vision to understand what really matters in life!

Chasing A Dream – Setting A Goal

By the time freshman year arrived, basketball was very much what my life revolved around. Any available time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week was spent either playing basketball or working to get in better shape. For the next four years, weights, weight vests, running, jumping, dribbling, shooting and such consumed my time and I loved it! One Friday night during that freshman year we had a "camp out" in the gym. We literally played and shot baskets all night, finally laying down to sleep at 5:30 A.M. and then getting up again at 7:00 A.M. to go again. Sleep came quite easily that Saturday night!

At some point during those junior high years it was brought to my attention that the group of young men that I'd become privileged to join had set a goal a few years earlier that had been instilled in them by their coach during the third and fourth grade years. That goal was to win the state championship in basketball! It was a goal that was embraced by us all and we spent hours and hours chasing that dream for the remainder of our high school careers. We'll get back to this later in the history of Durwood's life!

There's very little in life that can give you more satisfaction than having the privilege of engaging in something you love and basketball was a game that I really enjoyed. Our team that freshman year was very good and we won most of our games, but the next year is one that really stands out in my memory. Our sophomore year was a really special year for us and in a lot of ways became a preview of coming things for our team. We only had eight players that year but we ended the year with a record of 18 and 1. That single loss for the season was to a school that was two classifications above ours and we didn't lose by much even though they had a bench full of players to throw at us. Perhaps the most memorable game that year was one in which all but four of us fouled out early in the fourth quarter but we managed to hang on and win that one. We ended the season by winning the county tournament, putting a nice finish on a great season.

During our junior year, our basketball season turned out to be something quite unexpected even by our coach. Three of the best players from our previous year's team had moved up to the varsity team and no one thought we'd be very good that year, especially our coach! As it turned out, after eleven games we were 9 and 2 and doing very well – at least as far as our record was concerned. Coach, however, was another story as he was not happy with our "effort". One particular day of practice after a game that we had won, he made us run suicide sprints and what we called six pointers for 45 minutes without a break! He was crazy I tell you! By season's end, we had experienced a pretty decent year, winning far more than we lost – perhaps overachieving in the eyes of some. Our senior season was going to be special, we just knew it!

A Change Will Do You Good

Before continuing with details of my high school years, let me mention two things that came into my life that had a profound and lasting effect on my life. Both of these events came about in a sort of transition period from the elementary school years into the teenage chapter of my life and it is probably quite accurate to say that these two influences very much control, to a large degree, how I live my life and what fills my thoughts daily to this very day.

The first of these things was my acceptance of the Creator's plan for all mankind; my baptism into Christ. So many people in this world are searching for answers, wondering why we are here and what we are supposed to do while here on this earth. The answer is revealed for all who will accept it, "Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all." That's it – respect for God and living in the way He wants us to live is the reason we were placed on this earth! Someone has said, "Jesus left His home to come to our home so that we could go to His home". His home must be a wonderful place for Him to go through all He had to endure just so mankind could have the opportunity to live with Him!

The second thing that has influenced my life so thoroughly is when my Dad introduced me to hunting. First it was quail hunting and then deer hunting. In my adult years, I've come to love deer hunting so fervently that there is no time to spend hunting anything else. It is a deeply spiritual experience to sit in a tree stand high above the ground and watch the sun rise above the tree line and the woods come alive with activity. Hunting during the early bow season affords the opportunity to see deer in their true element before they become spooked by the noise of rifles and muzzleloaders. Time spent in the woods is the most peaceful and pleasant moments in my life and truly is what keeps me sane.

The truth is that these two life changing influences in my life are really intertwined with each other. My love for the Creator and the Creation truly go hand in hand. I believe it is because of the spiritual connection to nature that the Creator has always sanctioned hunting as evidenced by the reference to Esau as "a skillful hunter" and to Nimrod as "a mighty hunter before the Lord". So, as the blessing to go on a deer hunting trip to Illinois approaches, I look forward with high anticipation to enjoying the wonders of nature and remembering why we are on the earth.

Just Trying Real Hard To Adjust

Adjustment to life as a thirteen year old boy in a new environment doesn't come easy. It was a new school, new teachers, new rules and new classmates. One of those classmates was Tammy who was the girl of any young boy's dreams with movie star looks – she had it all! Did I talk to her or ask her to be my girlfriend or "go steady"? Are you kidding? Did you not catch the part about me being a thirteen year old boy at a new school and in a new environment and all? Besides, my elementary school girlfriend, Wanda, had shattered my heart a couple of years before and I don't think the effects of that experience ever really faded. As far as the teachers were concerned, we had one young woman who taught science who was one of those people you just want to ask, "Who are you mad at"?

One of the great things about my new school was the chance to play basketball which was very near the first love of my life at that time. It was really disappointing to learn that state rules would not allow me to play that year because my transfer had taken place between the seventh and eighth grades. In spite of that disappointment, I practiced hard all season long with the rest of the team. One of the drawbacks for my aspirations to play basketball was the fact that I was only five feet and two inches tall upon entering the eighth grade. That changed dramatically as my young body had grown a total of six inches by the time our ninth grade year rolled around and it didn't stop there. My life pretty much revolved around basketball for the next four years.

And Then There Were Seven

The next couple of years brought changes to my little world that rearranged life as I knew it. At twelve years old, through means of adoption, I gained two new sisters; Diane, who was nine and Lynn, who was six. Suddenly, our family had grown to seven and our little house seemed much smaller than it had previously. There is a lot to tell about these two girls that came into my life back then, but that will come later.

During the summer of my transference into the teenage years, Mom and Dad gave me some unwelcome news that had a dramatic effect on the next several years of my life. I was to leave behind the school and the friends I'd grown comfortable with and transfer to a private, religiously affiliated school. This turned out to be a traumatic adjustment for a thirteen year old boy. That's not to say it didn't work out in the final analysis, because during the next five years I made some really good new friends and there were some great experiences by the time graduation day arrived. Some of these experiences will be shared in future posts.

A New Phase

In 1965, I was seven years old when our Dad remarried and so began a new phase in my life. I was the ring bearer in the marriage ceremony for my Dad and his new wife and our new mother, Elaine. Being a participant in your parents wedding was not a common thing back then, but 44 years later I lead my grandson down the aisle as ring bearer in his parents wedding - a chapter to deal with much further in the history of life in my world.

The next five years in my life would see our little family beginning to make adjustments to the new addition to the family. It was a challenge for us all as Elaine was suddenly a mother to three small children and the three of us had a mother again and sometimes didn't know how to react. Dad was dealing with working and then coming home to our newly formed family which was not always an easy task for him. During this time in our lives, Dad was transferred, by the company he worked for, to North Carolina in late 1966. We all hated living there at the time and in mid-summer of 1967 we moved back to Alabama.

This five year chapter of my life was finished out with elementary school, baseball, a lot of time riding bicycles, fishing in the nearby creek and a year of junior high school at the neighborhood school. Little did I know there were changes coming in life that were not what my young mind had anticipated.

The Genesis

My life began on August 18, 1958 in Athens-Limestone Hospital in Athens, Alabama. I was born the son of a man from Giles County, Tennessee and a woman from Salem, Arkansas. That's right; I'm half Tennessee redneck and half Arkansas hillbilly, which explains so much of who and what I am today. My parents, Gordon and Lee, also were blessed with two daughters - Lee, who is four years older than me and Yvonne, who is three years younger. Our parents met in the Benton Harbor, Michigan area as a result of both of their families having moved to that area from their respective homes to find work during the late 1940's or early 1950's. Both of my sisters were born in Benton Harbor, but I was born during a year or so stay in Limestone County, Alabama.

Our family lived near Benton Harbor from the time that I was one year old until I was a little more than four. At that point in my young life, our mother passed from this life as the result of cancer and we soon moved to Limestone County again and lived with our Dad's parents for the next three years and a few months. My Dad remarried and thus began a new and challenging period of my life.It was a life that was challenging not only for me, but for the rest of the family as well.

Welcome to life in my world. More to come...